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If you ask any parent what they want for their children, the vast majority will answer that, in the end, all they want is to make their little ones happy. It seems a somewhat abstract goal, so I like to imagine it as a ladder to be climbed and that, at the end, at the top, is happiness. If so, we must accompany our children in each of their steps to finally achieve that children be happier.
I am glad to know that the ultimate goal of parents is to achieve that your children be happier. And it is that, in most cases it is what we all pursue. As defined in the dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy, happiness is a "state of mind that is pleased in the possession of a good."
From my point of view, there are four steps that we must give until we have happy children or a suitable state of happiness. Certainly there are other factors, but I would like to focus on the following.
Many times I wonder if, indeed, happiness was at the end of the stairs how many steps would it have. The truth is that I have no idea how many steps it has, but I am convinced that the first 4 would be these:
1. Acceptance and adaptation
Number one is acceptance and adaptation. Accepting circumstances and adapting to them is, in addition to being a symbol of intelligence, a brilliant attitude to start the steps of happiness. Every happy child is adapted and accepted in his moment, circumstances and context.
2. Responsibility and autonomy
The number two responsibility and autonomy. The fact of taking charge of your things and doing it autonomously, are fundamental pieces that increase self-esteem and generate pleasant situations for each child.
Number three is to be focused on goals with self-confidence. Trusting yourself is simply knowing and knowing the resources you have to deal with situations or problems. The fact of knowing makes you have confidence in yourself, an essential requirement for the present and future life of the child.
4. Self image
Number four is having a positive, adjusted image of yourself. A tight thought of who you are and what image you have in your environment is a great starting point towards a balanced development of the child. And a positive view of yourself always gives you an extra point in solving everyday problems.
To work on a positive vision, it is very important that parents change the way we communicate with their children. We must avoid labels, eliminate negative language, change "I want to" so that they are imbued with that positive communication that over the years can only produce benefits.
We can never forget that these are the first 4 steps to happiness, our main wish as parents for our children. However, we must bear in mind that happiness is an ambiguous objective and, therefore, it is about educating them that this is the consequence of go achieving small goals or steps until reaching a high state of happiness or well-being.
As a final note, I would like to emphasize that you should not confuse happiness with success. Both words are a bit ambiguous, but should not be interpreted as a consequence of the other. Children must be taught that you can be successful without happiness, and vice versa.
And you, have you made your children happier? Are you working on these 4 steps?
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